Addictive behavior: Recovery from sexual addiction and pornography
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Interview with Dr. Patrick Carnes on Sexual addiction
Dr Patrick Carnes Books on sexual addiction
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Sex and love addiction are at epidemic proportions in today’s society. There have always been sins of the flesh and lustful men and women throughout history; but the sheer access to sex and sexual material has exploded the number of people who suffer. The 1960`s sexual revolution paved the way for those who revile monogamy to drive the boundaries of shame out of society. Sexual behavior is now totally acceptable no matter what form it comes in. There are no real boundaries in our society today; all behavior has some form of acceptance in today’s society.
I must first say that I am not a prude and I do not wish to come from a religious angle in this Hub; I wish to speak directly to the issue of addiction and its destructive patterns. I have no issue with the gay or lesbian lifestyle and do not wish to have that brought into this discussion either; I simply wish to help those whose lives are controlled by this addiction to find the help they need. Sex addiction is found, as many other addictions are, in all walks of life as it is no respecter of persons. Anyone who finds sex as the driving force behind their daily actions could be an addict.
Pornography is one of the top reasons for the explosion of this addiction in our society. For the addict who uses pornography, it has become so easy to have access to porn through the internet. On the website “Enough-is-Enough,” they gave these statistics on internet pornography:
Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion. Of that, approximately $13 billion was in the United States (Internet Filter Review, 2006).
Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography, 28,258 Internet viewers are viewing pornography, 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines, and every 39 minutes, a new pornographic video is made in the United States (Internet Filter Review, 2006).
79% of youth unwanted exposure to pornography occurs in the home (Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later, 2006). (Enough is Enough.com, 2008)
This is an alarming set of statistics to say the least. At a recent gathering of “The Promise Keepers,” out of the number of men attending, 47% admitted to using pornography within the prior week. I am not against the use of Pornography per say if a couple or individual have a casual use that is responsible; but this is a rare case indeed according to statistics. The addict uses his/her drug of choice to escape the realities of live. This is the same for food, sex, alcohol, drugs, and anything which takes the addict away from their reality.
There are of course different levels or patterns of abuse in any one area of addiction; there are those who lives are completely out of control and those who manage their addictions well. Some find themselves with a new sexual partner or in front of a computer looking at porn daily; others only once or twice a week. If you find than when you honestly want to, you can`t stop, you may have a problem. If you find that sexual thoughts and behavior dominate your daily thoughts and even control your decisions, you may have a problem.
The point is where are you in your addiction? Dr. Patrick Carnes authored a book called “Out of the Shadows” which deals with sexual addiction and explains the different levels in great detail. Dr. Carnes is considered to be the top expert in this field by many of his colleagues. There are also a number of anonymous 12 step programs available to those who may want to seek help. One of the reasons 12 step programs work so well, and have for over 60 years, is because the addict relates to another addict. If a person, who is addicted tries to share their hopelessness with a pastor, spouse, or friend, often times they are met with harsh criticism or a lecture on morality. One addict helping another is a profound concept born in 1935 by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous which has lead to several different programs based on the 12 steps.
The information on this topic cannot be addressed in full on this Hub. It is my hope to spark interest in this topic and leave readers who either suffer or know someone who does with a possible solution. Scott
Additional sources:
2) http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-is-sexual-addiction/
3) http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm
4) http://xxxchurch.com/ (church group for struggling addicts)
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Balance is good. We are still brothers in Christ whether we agree or bitterly disagree. True?
Thank you for the kind words EYM, a change of pace for you and I , LOL.
Great Hub. A lot of people don't understand that sex is an actual addiction and that destructive and addictive behavior patterns surround overindulgence, just like a drug or alcohol addiction. Another thing that people don't see is that sexual behavior patterns are made available to children at a progressively younger and younger age...desensitizing the child to the concept of respecting the sanctity of their own bodies (God's Temple).
Great work brother!
Thank you so much for your comment on this very important topic HB. I have read some of your hubs and I am following you as well. Stop by again some time and we will chat. Scott
Addiction is deadly. Porn has a very strong destructive spirit on it and causes harassment. It poisons the mind and heart perverting are true perception. Thanks for sharing and talking about much to neglected subject. here's a song about the sex industry. It's really good! But sad:( >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqyLRpGgxRs
God bless you!
Yes Frost was awesome. My favorite is "The span of life"
" The old dog barks backward without getting up.
I remember when he was a pup."
Wow, thanks man. And I didn't know you were an English major. Though I should have suspected it, since you write really well. I went to school for a couple of years to get a degree in English, but I ran out of money. I'll go back one day. Frost was one of the best poets ever to walk the earth. We should all study that guy.
Thank`s Q, I have had many friends who lost marriages and other stuff in life because of addiction to sex, drugs, and booze. I appreciate your thoughts on this topic. BTW, my wife and I were talking about you this evening, I am an English major and I am studying some material on poetry. The text book was speaking about author Robert Frost and described his work as " a performance of words." My wife and I agree that your work is also, "A performance of words," we are true fans. Take care my friend! Scott
Very useful information and unfortunately very true. There really aren't any boundaries, anymore. This increase in knowledge has led to an increase in sin, seems like, with porn being readily available to supply lusts and desires. Even though porn is addictive, it's probably not going to be banned by the governement like any other drug. It's a shame what kids can get their hands on these days.
swb78 Hub Author 15 months ago
Yes its true, Scott